Both work, health and
coexistence have been traveled in different ways.
One thing is certain!
I will never give up.
The
fight to get help with vitamin B12 has shown that it is necessary
to fight. Today I get pretty much the injections I need, but still
not quite. In future new substance Methycobalamin!
A funny event, you could say, happened on Tuesday, January 31.
Life too circumstantial to draw the whole story regarding B12 deficiency
due to operation Billroth II in 1974. From the beginning treated
with psychotropic drugs and addictive medicine instead of injections
of B12. Of which one actually had knowledge. But even today, the
symptoms give health care a reason to run the same medication, for
example for Vegans. In 1993, they found out about my deficiency
after the sixth suicide attempt. A lot of people think I shouldn't
talk about the fact that the medication brought them on. In 2019,
the product Behephan disappeared from the market and the alternative
did not work at all, for me. Description at my first injection!
The contact with my current doctor is very good, although at my
worst mental moments (B12 symptoms) I question a lot. But he has
his superiors and systems to deal with as well. Hyroxcobalamin that
we have today and not Methylcobalamin thus does not work well for
many of us. There, the doctors have realized for me that I need
Methylcobalamin and stated that it is available in Germany. On license
it's on its way home. The hope it creates for me cannot be described.
Earlier this fall, I mentally struggled trying not to feel the downs
and ups. But now at last with hope for the future, I thought I should
note and record my mood. I wrote that down in a letter to my doctor.
Which I would leave at the Vårdcentralen. Seen that I got
an appointment for injection 3/2. Comes up to the department and
leaves the letter at the reception. Then the phone rings from the
Vårdcentralen. The nurse says, you accidentally got an appointment
on Friday!
!!!STOP!!! Must not be a mistake! From my reaction, she realizes
that I need that time!
So the day, time for injection, The night has been hell. No sleep
to speak of. Very difficult to get up. Well up breakfast. Out to
start the car
-6.1 C, so no cold. Just as equally full, the car won't start. Worked
the day before when I went to Centrumkyrkan to get a box of food.
Battery dead, still the eye shows green.
Thankfully, the neighbors came here the night before, run over and
beg for a ride. Get assistance. While I'm waiting, I call the automated
system for booking an appointment at the Vårdcentralen, thinking
I'll probably get a phone appointment this afternoon. But the injection
time is 11 a.m. and they will call at 11 a.m. I can get a message
out to the nurse. Waiting outside the treatment room. Patient in
there has a drop in blood pressure. Total callback, tens of people
join. I am shown into another room. In the mess, there are suddenly
two nurses with ampoules for my injection in the room! What am I
creating??
Friday's
injection gives me a nice weekend as far as sleep and constipation
are concerned.
How can a vitamin stir up the body like that and you lie there and
try to relax. Trying to block out every thought or idea that pops
into your head. But also this with the feces, Sunday I feel that
I have to resort to enemas (clyx). A lot of blood on the paper,
my feeling that something is off and is not a hemorrhoid is reinforced
all the time. After a couple of hours at the computer, it feels
like poison is leaving the body. A ski trip of what I think is 9
Km. Now I'll arrive by Monday. She was 04 before sleep, the clock
rings, turns off and goes back to sleep. Hell! Up at 09.30 tired,
but not down in temper. The stomach is full of gas, a trip to the
toilet. Half turn Klyx, Just a hard bullet. Gases remain. The gasses
I get out require strong efforts.
I have started training with my skiing. Could it be that it makes
the vitamin burn faster? Because already Monday afternoon I start
to lose the joy that is usually in my body.
I am very aware of what my positive outlook on life brings to me
and the people around me. What a disaster it created when I didn't
function like that, due to the B12 depots being emptied. Some day
when the injection of Behephan was delayed, work or missed in the
schedule. My partner at the time could usually see and feel when
the depot was empty. When people close to you don't want to understand.
Then I have had to leave them to take care of my own life in the
first place. It has meant hostility and humiliation. But I know
I'm not responsible! For that reason I am alone today! Want to feel
balance and stability first - maybe! The longing to have someone
by your side is great!
All week I fight the "demons" skiing, snow shoveling.
Know I should contact the doctor to get another injection, but know
I don't have money for fuel for that trip. Jobs with websites and
daring to look ahead with network marketing companies. A product
I long for, which is released in the USA and Mexico and which will
come to Europe shortly. For people with burnout, it has straightened
out the lives of many. Whoever produced it has himself lived with
burnout and for that reason created it! Also being presented other
new products where we can connect and build networks before the
products are even public.
That's where I am today!
To be
continued!
